Posted Thursday/March 14, 2001; 9:00 a.m. PST

"Wait 'til they get a load of me!"

Once a upon a time, the Seahawks of Seattle were owned by a Big Bad Wolf that said, "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow this team to L.A.!" The townspeople were fighting MAD, so they summoned the Jolly Green Giant. "SAVE OUR TEAM" the townspeople cried and shook in their boots until the Giant replied. "FEE, FI, FO, FUM, I'll buy the Hawks if 'we' build a stadium." PRESTO, Referendum 48 was born and the Giant threw cash everywhere to influence "the powers of the land." And the Big Bad Wolf went away with a $120 million profit in his slick hand.

Dough, dough, dough!

The townspeople were glad, except for Van Dyk the Dwarf became quite MAD. He gnawed on the Giant's big toe, hoping to make him look bad. But the Green Giant just put his BIG GREEN FOOT down and PRESTO, Referendum 48 became RCW 36.102. The townspeople of Seattle were so glad! Their Seahawks were staying and the "Public Stadium Authority" was going to look out for "the township's stadium." Unfortunately for the townspeople, one LITTLE detail was overlooked (or slipped by them) in the wording and writing of Referendum 48. And the stadium that started as a "public/private partnership" became a "private/private partnership" with the "public on the outside, not being able to look in [on TV]." Again, the townspeople were fighting MAD. They had their team. They had their stadium. Now they wanted their Hawk-TV!

M.A.H.F.I.A. to the rescue!

So a MAD As Hell Fan rode in to fix the problem by ADDING A NEW SECTION to RCW 36.102 and PRESTO, House Bill 2838 was born. HB 2838 flew threw the Washington State House of Representatives like a bat outta hell! The townspeople were so glad. But once in the Senate committee...POOF...it burned up like a bat "flying INTO hell!"

The townspeople were pissed off, but lived happily ever after because they signed the NFL Blackout Petition. They will be ready for the 2002-03 Season, to make the decree to the powers of the land, "We're townspeople that will no longer be "pee-ons!" The End.

2838 DOA