11.8.1
#2 Most Wanted Sports Fugitive
ABUSE OF POWER; CONSPIRACY TO KEEP NFL FANS IN THE DARK; DICTATOR OF 30-YEAR OLD REGIME; IMPERSONATING PETE ROZELLE AS COMMISSIONER, ACCESSORY TO "FAN EXTORTION;" ROBBING PETE'S MEMORY TO PAY PAUL'S LEGACY
PAUL TAGLIABUE
 Usual appearance |
 Known disguise |
|
Aliases: Dark Man, Blackout Tag, Paul Bungyan
|
DESCRIPTION
| Date of Birth: | 11/24/40 | Hair: | Dyed black |
| College: | Law School | Eyes: | Black contacts |
| Height: | 6'2" | Complexion: | Miami Tan |
| Weight: | 195 pounds | Sex: | Not the man Rozelle was |
| Build: | Medium | ||
| Occupation: | Pissing off NFL Fans | Race: | White, but wants to be Black |
| Nationality: | American | ||
| Scars and Marks: | None | ||
| Remarks: | Suffers from CHRONIC case of “It's-Good-To-Be-The-King-Itis, despite spending so much time in the dark about the business he's actually running. | ||
CAUTION
TAGLIABUE IS BEING SOUGHT IN CONNECTION WITH HOLDING TV FANS HOSTAGE IN THEIR HOMES AND FORCING THEM TO WATCH NON-LOCAL TEAMS BY BLACKING OUT GAMES.
CONSIDERED ARMED WITH A LOADED, DOUBLE-BARREL EGO AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS WHEN MENTIONING HIMSELF IN THE SAME BREATH AS THE LATE, GREAT PETE ROZELLE!!
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING
THIS PERSON (or others), PLEASE CONTACT THE
Fans Bureau of Instigation
REWARD
WeTheFans.com is offering NO reward for information leading directly to the explanation of Joey's disappearance. It's just Internet Satire!
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